When friends leave

When I was ten years old, my parents announced to us (my brother and me) that we would be moving to a place called North Carolina. It seemed like an adventure every step of the way. The garage sale, the packers (who packed a kitchen trash can full of garbage), the movers (who were very polite and only broke one thing, which they felt remorse for and quickly filed a claim, but still smelled like salami) and all of the goodbyes. I never felt sad about leaving my friends, my school or my grandparents, even. I remember going to school and telling my teacher, Mrs. Gallaghan (who was a bitch) that I had some exciting news to share. When I told the class that I was moving, I did not get the response that I was hoping for. I expected everyone to be wildly excited for me and even a little bit jealous. Instead, I got, "well, Nancy-that's not exciting news at all. Why would you want to go away from everyone you know?" and questions along that same line. My friend, Celeste, had a going away party for me and it was fun, but I couldn't get why people weren't excited for me.



Now, I get it.



In my adult life, I've had friends come and go. You make friends based on similar circumstances- but when the circumstances change, sometimes the friendships don't transition. As a college student, I worked at a camp during the summer. During those summers, the friends I made at camp were like sisters. We got "friendship ear piercings"--we each got one hole and split a pair of earrings. Camp would end. A few letters passed, Christmas cards, an email here and there--now I'm left with just scars in my ears.

When I left teaching for motherhood in 2004, I knew that the school would be just fine. I was not one of those teachers who thought the school couldn't function without me. I did, however, think that some of the friendships with colleagues would have stayed truer. Workplace acquaintances, huh? It's like having a comrade on the front lines, but when the war is over--you go back to your life and forget about them.

There are a few people who remain treasured friends. Seems like months can pass without a word between us and then we can pick up mid-sentence from our last conversation. There is no agenda between us, nothing to gain from being each other's friend and no one is "keeping score".

I guess this whole rant is prodded by Nick and John's departure. In the last couple of years, they have really taught me a lot of lessons. How to be a good neighbor, how to make people come together and most importantly, tolerance. Not just in the sense of tolerating their choices, but understanding that love is love is love. Even if it doesn't fit the description that you've always used. Like adding a new word to your vocabulary--maybe not a NEW word--but an equal meaning for a word that you already knew. They left a few days ago and I wonder where our friendship will end up. I envy their position of being able to take off into the unknown without a Plan. No idea where they will end up, no obligations, no deadlines--nothing. Exhilarating, but terrifying at the same time.

I am hopeful that our relationship will be able to transcend this move. That it was as strong as I thought it was and that we were not just friends of convenience, situation or geography. Only time will tell.

To be continued...

Time Flies!

I came across this picture today and it really made me realize how quickly this little girl is growing up! The "passy" is gone (thank goodness! Ewww...that thing had gotten gross--chewed up and slimey!) and sometimes "Rabbie" gets left behind without Anna Jane having a meltdown.

The outfit she has on in the photo has gone into the "LilliBelle Box"--the box where outgrown clothes are put until enough are ready to be packed away. Anna Jane thinks that all of her outgrown toys and clothes go to the little girl down the street who she loves--Lilli Belle---hence the name of the box! I haven't quite wrapped my head around the fact that we probably won't be having another child, so I'm continuing to save. The day will come when I face facts, and then Otis will have soooooooo much room in "his" attic.

Why am I so attached to these little girl artifacts? It absolutely made me cry and nearly curl up into a ball when I cleaned her closet out the last time. I am such a sentimental pup.

Wonder if my mother felt the same way?

Like Money in the Bank

I have been wanting to make homemade chicken stock for so long. Every time Martha or Ina gives recipe directions and says to "add stock, preferably homemade--of course !", I've wanted to see if there really was a difference. Of course...there is. It was a relaxing afternoon, the house smelled wonderful and now I have in the freezer:

16 quarts of stock and 9 quarts of cooked meat--just right for chicken salad or casseroles .

It's just like having "money in the bank!"

Mardi Gras King Cake Extravaganza!

We had our first N' Awlins King Cake Party and Mardi Gras with the Cliffords!
Anna Jane and I spent the afternoon with Carol making King Cakes. You can see that the process was a lot of fun: rolling out dough, spreading cinnamon, butter and sugar, rolling the dough, braiding it and then making into the shape of a crown. After the baking process, we decorated with icing and colored sugar--and the "Good Luck" baby was hidden inside for some lucky person!!
We went to Ed and Carol's house for dinner. We all wore some kind of costume or mask. Anna Jane wore one of her many princess gowns! After dinner, Carol went to the balcony and our "parade" started. We stood at the bottom, yelling up to her to "Throw more beads!!!" (and YES, this was a PG event--there was no shirt lifting to get beads!)
We then had dessert--the King Cake! Yummy! Anna Jane found the baby hidden in her piece...wonder how that happened??? Wasn't that lucky??
Ed and Carol are from New Orleans and have enlightened us as to the customs of their former home. I've got her great recipe for Red Beans and Rice...let me know if you want it! They are such great neighbors and friends. They went to a lot of effort to make our first experience with Mardi Gras such a memorable one! It was awesome!

What do Paris Hilton and I have in common?

When did my feet get so darn big? I was fine when I wore a 9-then it seemed that I eased into a 10--now, an unladylike number like ELEVEN!! What is the deal? My feet grew (flattened out, widened, whatever!) when I was pregnant with Anna Jane--and they stayed that way! I really am mortified. Size 11 sandals are just not cute. I gain no solace in the fact that Paris Hilton also wears a size 11 shoe.
I guess that since I only gained 8 1/2 pounds while pregnant--and had a 10 pound 9 ounce baby--I had to have some kind of punishment. I was going to post a picture of my huge feet, but I cannot bring myself to doing it. I think that the pedicure lady is going to start charging me extra!


Which brings to mind a quote from Truvy in Steel Magnolias that goes like this, "In a good shoe I wear a size 6, but a 7 feels so good, I buy a size 8."

My wise brother, however, had this to say about the matter, "Who really gives a shit, Nancy. Your nose and your feet keep growing. Ever see an old person with a small nose. Nah, they are usually bulbous with big pores. Be glad that it's only your feet at this point."

That doesn't make me feel better, either. At least, they get me from point A to point B, right?

Birthday Snow!

OK, so it's not officially my birthday anymore (it was yesterday), but I do celebrate my birthday month. We awoke to a good couple of inches and it continued to snow until about 3pm. Anna Jane and I headed out after the Inauguration of Obama/Biden. We needed to watch this historical moment. After several hours of tormenting her by making her watch the snowy day from the window--we finally ventured out. We met Lisa and Tyler and Anne and JD. The kids had the most fun on Lisa's inflatable tube. This snow was dry and not suited for the old fashioned sleds with the metal runners.

We came back to the culdesac and continued playing for a bit with Isaac, across the street. Lisa whipped up some scrumptious hot chocolate and I tried to make maple syrup snow candy--it did not work and the kids ended up eating the maple syrup flavored snow! I don't think they minded at all.

I know several kids, big and small, who will sleep well tonight!

All in our big, back yard!

This post is a bit dated, but I wanted to share our new get away. Anna Jane received this swingset for her birthday in November. It includes a tire swing, two belt swings (each is rated to hold 300 lbs--so it is adult friendly!), a slide, climbing wall, picnic table, elevated playhouse, adult swing (like a porch swing) and monkey bars. It's hard to see some of the items in the picture due to the trees and the angle, but I still thought this was a great shot. In the foreground is the sandbox that Otis built the first summer we lived here. You can also see the birdfeeder that traveled with us from our old house (with a post painted a lovely Martha Stewart color!) We've managed to spend some quality time on this even in the cold weather. Can't wait to serve picnic lunches to Anna Jane and friends during the warmer weather. We've enjoyed swinging together on the bench swing. What a great place to hang out!